August 14—Long Beach
Two days ago I had a surgery. I felt positive and strong moving forward, but hidden underneath apprehension was present as well. The moment my clothes were discarded and hospital garb put on…nakedness of body and being among loving professional strangers, my apprehension disappeared and total surrender took over.
On the other side of the operation, here, now, I am experiencing gifts that I was not aware of needing.
The plan had been that one of my friends would collect me in Marina Del Rey and drive me down to my wee nest. I would be checked in on by another friend who lived yards away. This plan was aborted with my overwhelming reaction to the anesthesia, as I was weak and nauseous and simply out of it. I was delivered to my friend’s home across the way, with warm arms and a beautiful room and embraced in nightingale care. Angels of mercy….both…FRIENDS…my beautiful friends.
I am being cared for with pure generosity of spirit…allowing me not to feel obligated or anxious, and with this SLEEP. Anesthesia is a powerful drug. I sleep and sleep and with this another unrealized gift. We humans, in this time, do not rest. We think, we concern ourselves with a thousand ‘things’, we create, we plan, we DO. I am undoing, bigtime. No anything.
I recommend this.