Tigress Tales

The cookies, which came into this incarnation last summer have been boomeranging their magic back to me on a daily basis and I have stories to tell before I die…..about the beauty and wonder of simple interactions out there on the street with strangers.

To carry the spirit of our loved ones in our hearts, and live their contributions to our beings with every sublime sunset, every doggie nuzzle, every glance from a child, every lovers’ spat, and every hardship that looms. We can feel their love and experience their presence. The mind is a powerful thing and every feeling is connected to thought and every thought is a choice.

Last night I had a dream about Sri Lanka. As a girl I lived in India and every year during the monsoons the family would go to Sri Lanka. This was in pre-war days, when the island was quiet and

If we each could only know that there is no such thing as a mistake. That every thing we do has consequences but there are no mistakes. We must go where our souls lead us, especially if its into the dark corners so that we can dance naked in the light.

I blade as if I’m flying. Ever since I was a child I’ve had a love affair with the wind. It stirs my passions and reminds me that I’m free. It lifts me to a place outside of myself where I feel God instantly and effortlessly and life and my humanness and my otherliness become clear for a few brief shining moments.

We rode together for those hours on the bus and became friends. Julia was a treasure chest full of stories and impressions and we passed the wand regularly, back and forth, and felt like sisters by the time we arrived. We parted ways and off I went to registration.

January is the wolf moon. February is the snow moon, March is the sap moon, April is the frog moon, May is the flower moon, June is the strawberry moon, July is the buck moon, August is the green corn moon, September is the harvest moon, October is the hunter’s moon, November is the beaver moon and December is the long night moon.

Maddy and I were dancing the dance of being two women inhabiting a shared space when a blow to Maddy’s heart upended her and I held out my hand. With this passage we threw the curtains wide open to chitter chatter and depth and spiritual exploration and friendship

Snake bit me hard this week and though he has become a familiar companion, his presence always requires energy, attention and respect. While dealing with his bite, in the first stage, I slide away from my creativity and expression and I move through my world with angel wings around me whilst attempting to see clearly and feel present and be strong. Then the healing and growth begin.

Human beings. We really are all one big family. In this year of having no home I have grown more sisters and brothers than I could ever have imagined. My truth is that the only thing that really matters is the human heart and how we share it and connect with others.

It’s all in the mind. All of it: the fear, the love, the upset, the calm. Every feeling is first a thought and so here, at the birth of the thought, we can intervene and turn a gulp about ‘the giant earthquake’…into ‘the rain has lifted and it’s a gorgeous spring day’ and ‘I can do anything!’.

After this a healing session began on one of the women. The power and mystery of the Medicine Woman’s actions and words spun us into another time and place where primal natures ruled and inhibitions were not welcome. A cure occurred.

I knocked on his door, he answered, I presented the flowers, and back he boomed: “Vanity is thy name oh woman, where are your glasses?” A small part of me still shudders.

I do not know if I will ever be a cat person. But Che represents something special to me now and I believe he will forever. Our thoughts imprison us and mold us. My mother did not like cats, hence I have never welcomed them. This week I choose to change this thinking.

I woke up this morning hearing the words “Be still and know that I am God”. I lay there for a few minutes and then said them to myself. Images ran through my mind a hundred miles an hour. There’s that mind again!

Tis May! My brain wants to to be giddy as according to Camelot this is the month for lusting and singing and dancing and rolling in the lilacs. I feel a quiet euphoric sweetness for the layers and layers of sensory memories that the word ‘May’ conjures.

My mother, myself. Is this true? Yes. Now that you are not on this earth I see how deeply my soul reactions mirror yours. Yes, I can hear your voice, your laugh, your critiques, your sorrows. I can see your face and feel your hands.

This is real! For the next twenty years I will be the one who takes care of this baby! No matter what anyone else says, THIS IS MY JOB!”. Little did I know that it’s not twenty years, it’s forever in a mother’s heart. FOREVER.

Happy Birthday Mom! I can hear Dad laughing right now and I know that you’ve somehow conjured up an angel food cake with squishy chocolate frosting and colored sprinkles. Make a wish! Both of you!

We four drove in the moonlight through the Colorado backroads from Boulder to Denver. Nina and Mario in the backseat,..Then, suddenly we were at the airport.

I have just ridden a month-long road of wings folded around myself. Emotional and creative hibernation, withdrawal from friends and from the lapping of life, and for no reason at all, as suddenly as the opposite hovered and stole me away (the way the monkey princess in Babar was kidnapped by the black cloud) I kundilinied into this moment.

How is it that we meander from such fundamental knowings and then hitch our wagons to stars so far afield that we miss the heaven that we are in. And so, dear planets, bring it on! And swoop me in if you will! I intend to steer my magical carpet according to my heart’s conscious desire, and of course I welcome all support!

The pregnancy, the birth, the dawn of the getting to know, the expressions, the passions and fears, the strengths and talents, the achilles heels, the favorite foods and ways of eating, the first step and posture and gait, the tiny triumphs, the phenomenal triumphs, the losses and positioning around disappointments.

A whole world up here that many locals don’t even know exists. Coyotes roam, skunks run amuck, winds howl, fennel grows wild. And so it is, my ascension of the Mount of Olive, and as I look out I can hear Samm’s laugh and I see many things.

you will figure out how to deal with it., your joie de vive, your love of letting loose in the windy salt air, your  undauntible spirit and your smile!
How blessed we are that you chose us.
You beautiful teacher, you.

I held your head when tears ran down your face because John wasn’t comfortable with hospitals. Your triathalon muscles continued to fight the fight when your inner organs began to shut down.

You and I grew into best friends. Transparency, truth, intimacy and we healed all misconceptions and opened to pure love.

Those songs, that music, was this new world. If we could know these and feel them we would belong.
I wonder if I ever really listened to the words of “California Dreaming”. I couldn’t fathom California then.

We looked at each other and scampered downstairs like little mice and the boy handed us our first fresh coconuts, the top hacked, and we all drank.

Each of these children has a mother that loves him or her just as much as we love our babies. How can we turn a blind eye and deaf ear? How can we ignore this as humans? Is this because these people are muslims?
What is the matter with us?

Whatever it is they do, when they’re finished there’s no doubt that they existed.
Security.
Crying to God.
Just a few words to bid farewell to one chapter and usher in another, and another will come.
In the meantime prayers for a speedy transition and the return of joy.

As we stood I looked and let my mind sail. It took me to “Wow, those roses and thorns are interesting and the colors very strong, I wonder if these tattoos are fresh”

Oh! My soul has been longing for something to break itself free over these last few weeks. I have become locked, blocked and enclosed while dealing with personal challenges, and my soul uncharacteristically has not been able to find the key to fly.

And what kind of person are you? …my mind raced towards the giant hibiscus that sits on the back porch. No. And then to meadows full of flowers and then rose gardens and then essential oil bottles and lotions and bubbles and then to trees and clouds and stop!

Soft night breezes floating over me, the sound of gentle splashing of waves, the cat growls and these muffled sounds of searching. Human desperation.

The good news is that feelings are real, cats can’t tell you ‘why’ and so one is left to either conjure up conjectures or let them all go

I’m sitting in an old Spanish style Hollywood house, complete with hand painted tiles and arched doorways and windows and I’m looking out over a garden of palms and palmettos and figs and avocados and lemons…all trees!  This must be

Ice blue eyes that sparkle with intelligence and life! A swirl of bohemian energy layered over an aristocracy that you were born into; wispy hairs and sloppy jeans slipping and sliding on a lean six foot tall frame. And a

All of a sudden a light shone all around, the umbrellas transformed from black to luminous rainbow colors and they floated up into the sky carrying their people with them. These words that rang out:

“You have to die first before you can be reborn”.

Last night I bladed along the sea just as the sun was setting. Here I am, living on the coast of la mer magnifique (Mom, are you closing your eyes tightly and shaking your head?) and yet its every  sunset

St. Exupery once wrote “What we went through, no animal could go through” and I think of you. You who have buried your children, one after another, you who have suffered excruciating physical agonies…

We humans do acclimate, even if it doesn’t serve us! We burst forth into life and then settle into habits that lock and block forward movement and true living in the present, and we don’t even notice until the habit produces restlessness or emptiness or crisis.

This afternoon I smelled a yellow rose that was beyond heaven. I spied a lotus blossom all alone, stretching up and breathing beauty at me. And then I saw a giant, gnarled, tangled, graceful tree with wisps of leaves dancing

I have recently been challenged in the computer department! Four months ago I bought a brand new Apple and from the moment I touched it I knew that something was not right with it. I decided to let it ride

Just now, after finishing my previous blog, Obie came and laid his goldeny head in my lap with a slight wafty wag of his plumey tail and a ‘Walk?’ look in his none-such smiling eyes. Oh Obie! How can I

A few days ago whilst caring for Charlie the cat, black sleek prince of Wadsworth,  in his exquisite treetop home half a block from the beach in Santa Monica, I heard a yeowling coming from the back porch. There he

Where to begin? In this amazing land of melting pots where every single person births forth with his very own blueprint of mixed ethnicities and traditions….I would LOVE to go back to my parents’ heritages in detail,  to lay the

My life
The earth
Thank you
My spirit
My body
Thank you
The gifts of the unknown
The gifts of being challenged
The gifts that human angels bring
Thank you
Thank you for this day of Thanks.
Amen.

This year I could not find my expansive, joyous, Christmas self and connection to the true spirit that birthed it all, prior to this evening and now I have.

If every single one of us, would leap off a cliff into the unknown every morning, by springtime, oh what a garden we shall be!

When this flow has quieted, and the ebb is at hand,  I shall return, with a basket of treasures to share! And now? With joy and wonder I am off! 
Blessings, blessings, life and love.

Yes. Thank you, God for this time of upheaval, chaos, discomfort, sorrow, and transformation. You and I have many miles and many worlds to share in this new skin. Look at those cute feet. Ready, set go!

And this little being will appear with a wide range of knowing and feeling, and a breath-taking abundance of love and beauty from a woman who I know quite well, and has consciously been present for this chapter. And in two months? Oooooooh lala!!!!!!! Music, choreography, visions, explorations, inspirations, passions, creations! That have never ever been seen before.