I think I’ll call Mom.
Oh, that’s right, Mom….You….left 17 years ago…as in your body….not sure you actually left as I feel you all the time.
I feel like calling you….oh, wait a minute…our calls were not on cell phones. ‘Cell phones’ you ask? Yes….Oh brother, I’m not going to try to explain that….though actually cell phones, in a very different version from their present incarnation had arrived, but you…post stroke for 8 years…were not open to either them or computers. You were so stubborn…and I’m sure you still are. Thank goodness.
Anyway, Mom….I can see myself dialing on my white table top phone next to my bed in my NY apartment…looking out at the reflections of clouds in the windows across the way, and when Dad picks up saying, “Hi Dad, it’s me.” And he says “Oh GOOD, she’s right here, she’s been waiting for your call.” Every single day for those 8 post stroke years I called you and we became best friends…after a lifetime of distance and precarious communication….what a phenomenal gift. If only everyone could experience such a miracle.
Whew…and today? Nothing special. it’s just a gorgeous day and fall is coming….and my life seems to be in transition AGAIN and I felt like talking to you. We don’t always understand each other exactly but we speak the same language, if you know what I mean…and that is rare. I miss it. I miss the shared language and soul knowing…in conversation on an old fashioned phone.
SO…thank you, Mom. For being you. And I hope it’s as beautiful up there as it is down here.
Bye.