Tea For The Tillerman

TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN Two days ago another of my special friends was plucked by God, in her sleep, completely out of the blue to work from the other side. One cannot live well into one’s seventh decade without having experienced the physical loss of loved ones…my best friend on earth at the time, in … Read more

January Nineteenth!

Monday Evening– Ten day-ish ago….time? What has happened to linear time? Gone with the wind…..a breath-taking morning…I was walking and looking up…marvelling internally at the beauty of the trees in the wind, and I stepped on a rock and fell. I had the consciousness during the fall that this was not good, but I would … Read more

Living Faith

December 16, Long Beach A ‘friend’ on FB that I do not know but whose posts I respect and delight in, posted something this morning that has inspired this. His post said ‘anyone can have faith on a good day, the bad ones are the test’…and this created a moment of PAUSE. My experience is … Read more

The Winter Solstice and The New Moon

Long Beach–Monday Morning, December 15 THE APPROACHING SOLSTICE AND NEW MOON This year the winter solstice on Sunday, December 21st, marks the END of a 12,000 year cycle…as the end of the age of darkness and the beginning of the climb back up into ascending cycles. In addition to this there is s shift of … Read more

Otter Women

OTTER WOMEN There is a tribe of women in our midst that moves and grooves, inspires and solidifies future generations silently, with no recognition. And who are these women? The single mothers of the 70’s and 80’s. Otter Women. Otter Medicine represents balanced female energy. Otters are acrobats in the caring department, they are on … Read more

Bob

Flashback—Charleston, South Carolina—1984 After auditioning for a production of ‘California Suite’, the director pulled me aside, said that I was not right for any of the parts, but would I be open to meeting for lunch. BOB!!!! And a long, deep, heavenly orchestrated friendship of gentleness, phenomenal beauty and tumult began. I was 33, a … Read more

Many Things

Monday, December 8–Marina Del Rey– Another old find–written 14-ish years ago–during the homeless years MOUNT OF OLIVE One spring weekend, lifetimes ago, my best friend, Samm and I escaped our New England prep school and hitchhiked up to her parents’ vacation home in Jeffersonville, Vermont. Nothing that she and I did together was ordinary and … Read more

SNAP

Written 15 years ago! SNAP! On my way to meet a friend for tea this afternoon, I spied a garden full of snap dragons. There they were, all pink and yellow and perky, standing so straight and tall and smiling at me. And my brain whisked me on a sixty second journey. My grandmother was … Read more

FIRE REFLECTIONS

Marina Del Rey—Saturday, December 6 Last year on November 22nd, the Malibu Fire burned from Pepperdine down PCH with mandatory evacuations for everyone on my bluff. I drove through the fire…my car was wounded…but I found refuge on Mount Washington with my sister friend and her husband. We had had warnings for this one. I … Read more

Time Out

Sunday, November 30—Marina Del Rey ‘Quiet’ has been my soul’s desire for these last weeks while finishing a series of children’s books that I began lifetimes ago and now culminated in the Grand Poobah of “The Big Story”. In the midst? Ponderings and bubble-upses of thises and thats on the subject of art. Picasso said … Read more

The Gift!

Sunday, October 26 “The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To talk of many things: Of shoes—and ships—and sealing wax— Of cabbages— and kings— And why the sea is boiling hot— And whether pigs have wings.” What do we want to leave behind for the next generations? AI as avatars? Which basically is about searching … Read more

No Kings Day Mantra

October 17—Marina Del Rey No Kings Day tomorrow…warrior time….the contradictions of one’s humanity crystalizing in this moment on earth to FIGHT. The ‘I am grateful for everything my parents gave me and I have empathy for everything they could not give’…not here. Maybe at home..maybe in our soul selves…NOT HERE. Our country, our people, our … Read more

Just Another Sunset

October 16—Marina Del Rey Just another evening.  Seagulls line up at dusk, settle into the sand, close thier eyes and face the ocean. Pelicans float in the water,  splashing haphazardly, and altogether face out to sea.  The wind is a factor, as feathers being smoothed rather than ruffled a good choice, but the calmness…the soul … Read more

August 31

August 31—Santa Monica Feelings. Sacred in that every single one is unique to its owner. And here they come again. Eighty-five years ago today my parents married. They were ‘one and only’ to each other before that day and for the following sixty-seven years. They were a team, not without their differences, but solid in … Read more

Oats

August 24—Long Beach Every time OATS cross my path, ’Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey’ rings forth. MOM! Little did you know the multitude of thises and thats that you planted in my being when I was very young would last decades and be passed along. Little do any of us know, … Read more

Hello

Hello. Hello. Do I know you?I don’t think so.What do you do?About what?I mean in life…what do you do?Many things.What is your profession? How do you earn a living?How many hours do you have?Tell me something.I was born. From that moment forth I have been living stories. Sometimes these are spoken, sometimes not, but they … Read more

Wake Up

August 23—Long Beach Heat. We, in California are so spoiled…it is rarely hot…it is rarely cold…and any deviation from 60’s and 70’s temperatures creates much ado. But it is actually hot at the moment! The universe is speaking. What to do? Seek out a spot…by the water, among he trees, and sit still. One’s inner … Read more

August 21—Margaret

August 21—Marina Del Rey Margaret! I wish that we could have tea. My sister Margaret was 18 months younger than me. We could not have been more different. As children, we used to say that she was the moon and I was the sun. When I went into boarding school in India, at 7, she … Read more

Tubes Out!

August 20—Marina Del Rey Tubes out!!! Joy! Joy! Joy! The sweetness of freedom, the beauty of the body, the miracle of healing, and now, HERE!!!! Wings spread and fins flapping…. ***Stop right there. Go away! ***Stop. Unfluff those feathers and quiet those flippers. No flying, No diving, no cavorting about. For now. Obeying in not … Read more

Being Self

Sunday, August 17—Long Beach During this post surgery chapter, I am allowing extended magic carpet rides in my brain to have their way with me. You are hereby invited to join me on the gift of the moment….let’s go! There is a craving within to be near water, always, go! There’s the ocean! So big, … Read more

Post Fire Reflections

August 16—Long Beach Post Fire Reflections The sorrow, inexplicably expressed but dealt with around the loss of home, its treasures, its haven-ness, its memories, itself…the little ghosts that stilll appear out of the ether and the mind, writings, baubles, heirlooms, everything with a story…that hadn’t been thought of and therefore not missed, and then, POP! … Read more

Shall We Dance?

August 16—Long Beach Experiencing ever changing altered consciousness with the comings and goings in this post surgery state, whilst acclimating to the specifics of maneuvering and being mindful of certain body parts. Oh these bodies of ours!Sitting in the shade on the porch of where I am hiding, in a marvelous sturdy rocking chair with … Read more

Angels of Mercy

August 14—Long Beach Two days ago I had a surgery. I felt positive and strong moving forward, but hidden underneath apprehension was present as well. The moment my clothes were discarded and hospital garb put on…nakedness of body and being among loving professional strangers, my apprehension disappeared and total surrender took over. On the other … Read more

The Great Unknown

Malibu—Friday, August 8 As today’s Lionsgate portal, a vibrationally throbbingly impactful event, grrrrr-ed at me early this morning, I decided to drive up to where my house used to be before the fire…my sacred sanctuary. In the quiet of birds’ chirps and rustling leaves, the ocean spread out below and only puffs of wind. The … Read more

Hiroshima

Santa Monica—August 6 This morning on the news, a reminder that 80 years ago today ‘the bomb’ was dropped on Hiroshima. A personal story: In the early 40’s, as a recent graduate of Yale Law School, married and with a tiny son, my father had opened a law practice in Des Moines, Iowa, but felt … Read more

Lionsgate

Sunday, August 3–Long Beach Right now we are in the vortex of The Lionsgate Portal. This significant happening occurs every year around August 8 and is believed to be a powerful time for manifestation and transformation, from way back in ancient Egypt. The union of the sun in Leo, associated with courage and creativity and … Read more

Nanny

My mother was born in 1918. Her father had been born on a farm in Iowa and had walked to the big city of Des Moines, knocked on doors to find lodging, ended up going to law school and becoming senator of Iowa. He was beloved by the people. My mother entered the world pre … Read more

INTUBATION

July 31—Long Beach Background to the present…many of you are familiar with the cliff note version of this. December 3, 1995—NYC Whilst attempting to capture images of a mother swan and her new babies on the Nikon camera that had just been gifted to me, I was ambushed by a group of thugs, badly beaten, … Read more

Tessering

Is there a place where our vanished days secretly gather? Yesterday a birthday. Two birthdays. A single calendar day honoring two entirely different loves and chapters …lifetimes apart….one no longer here and one barely beginning her journey. Dates have always naturally embedded themselves in my awareness, and with the passing of years, as there are … Read more

Melanie’s Birthday

Wednesday Morning, July 23, Melanie’s Birthday—Long Beach Oh Sacred Day! Flashback—July 22, 1976—Excelsior, Minnesota A tiny cottage perched on a grassy hill over-looking Lake Minnewashta. Black fly season on its way out, overlapping with mosquitoes on the way in, and lilacs burying the front porch in full bloom. Heat, wind, sparkling water and the baby … Read more

Looming Homelessness

Several days ago a conversation that had taken place at an entertainment business gathering was shared with me. The primary theme being TERROR for the financial security of families in the industry due to work stoppage…between the fire halting projects, to ICE infiltrating the city, to AI replacement, now hovering on previously unimaginable homelessness. My … Read more

Cherry Picking

Sunday, July 20—Long Beach Flashback, summer of ’67—Frankfort, MichiganAs my parents’ lifelong passion for humanitarian work extended itself to us, the offspring, and did not confine itself to other lands, we were obliged to cooperate.As a sixteen year old, trying to navigate life in the USA and being a teenager in changing times, my desires … Read more

Byron’s Birthday

Friday Evening, July 18—Marina del Rey Byron’s Birthday! Flashback 1955, Frankfort Michigan Before India we lived in Concord, New Hampshire, and after India we lived in suburban New York. No matter where we lived, if we were in this country, Frankfort, Michigan, on the shores of the great lake, was our JULY. All six of … Read more

Scampering

Wednesday Evening, July 16—Cardiff By the Sea Late this afternoon I ventured into a ‘protected wetlands’ area, as its woods and tangled dappled vines, shone gold and beckoned. The once upon a time path was overgrown and wildly beautiful, and the creature sounds mixed with wind rustling fed my heart with blissful wonder, and then….whoosh….something … Read more

The Fly

Cardiff By The Sea—Tuesday, July 15 A buzzing…familiar from a lifetime of insect cohabiting…there was no doubt. Fly buzz is particular. With no specific feelings around flies, other than my India years hummed with, “Flies are filthy, flies are filthy”, hence I’d rather they buzz elsewhere. My moment to catch the setting sun down by … Read more

Summer Breezes

Cardiff By The Sea—Tuesday Summer heat, ocean breezes and plunging, and flashback to cool summers in northern Michigan and my first boyfriend…as a sixteen year old…in the mid 60’s. Bill…Norwegian heritage…carefree, fun and sensitive artist/ gymnast. We zoomed and splashed our way across and around Crystal Lake in his hydroplane when we weren’t porpoise diving … Read more

Six Months

Marina del Rey—July 7 Yesterday I visited my bluff…again. It was the six month anniversary of the last full day living in my cottage…my haven….little did I know it would be the last. But yesterday I breathed in the silence all ‘round. No humans, no activity, only the sound of the wind in the trees, … Read more

Climb, Leap, Fly

Ever since the fire, which is now almost six months in the past, I have not been answering crisis calls. I have been being quiet…watching…listening…maneuvering this new version of self into a new incarnation of ‘why I am here’. THEN…a call two days ago from a Malibu former neighbor whose gardener’s brother had been taken … Read more

More Healing

Last Friday I drove down to my daughter’s home, as Luciana, my almost 14-year-old grand daughter’s two week theater camp presentation was to be performed, and WOW. After years in the theater world, once upon a time ago, I am privy to all the moving parts…casting, choreography/blocking, memorizing, personalities, technicalities and on and on, and … Read more

Rose Garden Meander

Sunday, June 29—Santa Monica Yesterday, on my meander towards the rose garden, which prior to the fire had been almost a daily ritual, I crossed paths with many familiar families and dogs. The roses were in wild bloom, the wind in the palms creating a background swish, and baby squirrels running amuck. As I headed … Read more

Seal Beach Pier

Meandering my way through dripping children, haphazardly flying fish rods, pecking pigeons, and waggling dogs on the Seal Beach Pier this afternoon I found a spot along the railing to ponder life and let the ponderings go, whilst tuning in to all that was around me. When I moved back to NYC from Charleston, SC … Read more

Dancing Planets

Long Beach—Saturday Morning—June 21 The planets have been positioning themselves in a new way, significantly, outrageously, powerfully for weeks, and at the moment Saturn and Neptune are dancing a vibrationally confusing tango. There is a radical reorientation to life that most are experiencing, and there is much resistance. The desires of the body, the brain, … Read more

The Solstice

June 20—Friday—THE SOLSTICE–Long Beach The longest day…light? Yes please. We humans do worship light, but we don’t seem to acknowledge universally the need to grow our personal light within…to do the real work, walk a walk of obstacle riddled reality…belief and imagination together…leading to true human connection and freedom and LIGHT…and…dum da dum dum… If … Read more

Ode to Dad

Hello Dad….Dad? Hello? Dad? You RASCAL! Even now? Family stories cite that upon my emergence into this world YOU were my north star…as in I did not want you out of sight…and so my personal challenge began in that very moment! Good luck to anyone who ever thought they might know where you were/are and/or … Read more

Five Months

June 7, Long Beach Yes. Five months since that bright morning when I walked out on my bluff, and was awestruck by the giant orangish clouds blowing up from Pacific Palisade. We had evacuated several weeks before for the Franklin Fire, which was much closer and so my neighbors and I decided that this one … Read more

May 23

May 23—Long Beach May 23, 1918—Des Moines, Iowa Mom! You arrived! And you chose a doozey of a family, yin and yang to the nth degree! Your mother, bless her in her Gilded Age aristocracy and the challenges that her positioning around status and ‘shoulds’ brought her moving forward, but HOW could she not adore … Read more

Mothers Day

Ode to Mom Oh Mom, on this Mothers Day, I do hope that your earthly sadness has been lifted and blown away and that you are enjoying this day with true joy and soul knowing. You declared. as your stroke fall-out intensified and with its progression and physical disconnect, that the most treasured chapter of … Read more

Morning!

Morning!  This time on earth is a time of harvesting, if we move aside from our particular angsts and allow the wisdoms of our souls to see!  It is a time to garner dignity, shoulders back and head up, look the beauty and might inside of you in the eye and shine. Seriously. Now go!

Feeling Bridge

Tuesday Afternoon A few days ago, after a strenuous day trying to track down a miracle potion from China that has been keeping my inner organs working for ages, but alas, has been cancelled due to pending tariffs…I stopped by the ocean to soothe my soul. It was a chilly overcast day with few people … Read more

Being Peace

Wind in palm leaves carries me back to childhood days in Sri Lanka. The emotional memory is one of peace and yet there were violent pogroms erupting all around. My parents’ work was intensely involved in the social upheaval, and it carried through to all of us, and yet my memory is one of peace. … Read more

Pigeon Present

Long Beach—May 2nd Yesterday sparkled with warm sunshine and geraniums popping in amidst mysterious giant succulent blooms that I cannot name, but today? Misty fog blanketing the canal over yonder and pigeons cooing, discussing life amongst shorebirds. My mother is everywhere. My mother was a scholar, and as such, anything and everything that crossed her … Read more

Steps

Tuesday Morning—Long Beach On Sunday, I extracted my ‘residents only’ green pass out of the glove compartment, positioned it in my lap and headed towards PCH. No matter how many times I drive up this drive….in this altered universe of the present…this road that I travelled practically with my eyes closed, while also breathing in … Read more

Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday—Long Beach My indoctrination into the church at an early age was beautiful. Before we went to India, my father was the minister of the First Congregational Church, in Concord, New Hampshire. As I have never been one to be trapped, I would regularly escape from the church nursery and stream up the church … Read more

Becoming Roses

Long Beach—Saturday Morning Long Beach—Saturday Morning As a tiny girl in India, my sister and I were perpetually buried by garlands of flowers. My father’s work was life saving, literally, hence his appearance on the scene of schools, hospitals, and villages generated exhilarated gestures of gratitude…and there we were, partaking of this honoring as well. … Read more

Yay or Nay

Long Beach—Monday—April 6 Morning musings. This past weekend…a fire fundraiser on Saturday morning….Hands Off in downtown LA on Saturday afternoon…a Malibu gathering on Sunday, more fire fire fire discussion….and now Monday Monday, am I still here? A constant in all of this is being approached/asked:: “You seem so together and great…how?” “You always look as … Read more

Hearts

Long Beach….Friday afternoon…. Where did theses words filter in from? A gentle reminder in the midst of chaos: A courageous heart will go forth and engage with life despite confusion and fear. A fearful heart will be hesitant and will tend to hold back. A heavy heart will make for a gloomy unlived life. And…. … Read more

Home

Friday , April 4—Long Beach Yesterday morning I once again filled out paper work for an appeal to FEMA as they have not yet come through for me. Supposedly my documents are in order but with the threat of its cancellation I rolled up my sleeves to nudge again. Then, I perused Facebook and landed … Read more

Queen Mary and Beyond

Sunday Afternoon—March 30—Long Beach My favorite writing spot in Long Beach is in front of a stretch of grass with willow trees and quiet picnic-ers, on the banks of a waterway that also holds the SS Queen Mary. Every time I round the bend in the road that leads to finding a parking space, I … Read more

North Star

Long Beach— Thursday early evening, March 28 Rhythms….in the soul music accompanying the picnic over yonder….in the trees, as the wind expands and sighs…..in the wing flaps of cruising gulls….EVERYTHING in motion to a beat…throbbing life ….and a magnificently ‘on a mission’ eclipse is a comin’!  When one’s own heart rhythm becomes chaotic, due to … Read more

Corniche

Sunday Afternoon—March 23—Long Beach Corniche. This morning, this word greeted me and the very sound of it felt friendly. It means ‘a road cut into the edge of a cliff, especially one running along a coast’, well if that is not the bees knees. Is it a sign? One can hope. Yes, I am settled … Read more

Waymo and I

Long Beach—Saturday Morning Yesterday afternoon, after navigating traffic snaffus on the 405 and attempting to find parking in Beverly Hills for a medical appointment, one of the WAYMO cars, (that to me look like helmits out of Star Wars), and I had a confrontational meeting of the NON minds. It was in my way and … Read more

Buzzing Bees

Long Beach—March 20—SPRING!!!! In the years that I taught wee ones, mid morning outside play was fluff time. Spring flowers seduced bees to come thither, hence bee speeches were necessary on a daily basis. “If a bee comes to you, stand quietly and let him or her BE. When the bee discovers that your sweetness … Read more

Winter’s Last Night

Long Beach—Wednesday Night—the last night of winter In 1969 I quit college…actually took a leave of absence but never returned…to work in a state institution. College made no sense to me, as my world was in chaos..Viet Nam, drugs, sex, women’s lib….my friends were leaping off into all directions and I didn’t know what to … Read more

Bathroom Tiles

Long Beach—Wednesday, March 19 There are black and white tiles on the floor of my Long Beach shower. My grandparents lived in a ‘gilded age’mansion which they built in the early 1900’s. It had a dark mahogany elegantly carved curved starcase, with a secret cubbyhole underneath, and gates at both top and bottom. It stood … Read more

Morning Has Broken

Long Beach—Tuesday Afternoon Every single morning during my teenage years, the household was WOKEN by my mother’s piano playing, which always began with the hymn, ’Morning Has Broken.’  My mother was a scholar, and if one commented on the lovliness of this, in return she would passionately remind us of its French and Scottish origin, … Read more

Black Sheep

Long Beach—Tuesday Afternoon—March 18 THIS recently appeared in my ….do we call it ‘feed’?  Earth based souls are designed to incarnate and evolve in body on earth usually hundreds or thousands of times on earth…growing and evolving, tripping and falling…there is a soul nursery…earth based souls are prepared to come to earth before they come. … Read more

Miracles Aloft

Going on 9 weeks since the fire. At that time, the question “What are you going to do? Are you going to stay? Do you have a place? What about your family? HOW are you okay” THEN Question: What are you going to do? Answer: I have no idea. I have my car, and that’s … Read more

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Long Beach—Friday Morning, March 7 Eight and a half weeks since The Fire. Shock, disorientation, immediate moment by moment survival…this has setlled…and now? The longer term reality. Creating surroundings that bring solace and healing and joy. Figuring out how to manifest food, meds, gas, shelter moving forward…(yes, my dollars were all in the house). Fema … Read more

Oleksandra

Wednesday Morning, February 26, Long Beach An astrological ‘thing’ describing the inner and outer affects of the extraordinary planetary alignment that is approaching and where the world stands with this, crossed my path this morning and I succombed. Then an NPR interview with Oleksandra Malviichuk on her view of Ukraine, Russia and the US.  THIS. … Read more

Seal Beach

Tuesday Morning, February 25—Long Beach A bit of levity. Yes. I am blessed. Yes. I have landed in a spot near the ocean and am navigating my new surroundings with optimism. HOWEVER… This does not eradicate the fact that this is NOT my familiar digs and my rituals are adrift. The ‘familiar’ is paramount to … Read more

Saint Francis

PROLOGUE Concord, New Hampshire Mid 50’s Before India, my father was the minister of the First Congregational Church in Concord, New Hampshire. Our family’s life was intrinsically intertwined with the church’s life and it was fun. I never felt the ‘shoulds and thou shalt nots’ that others have felt in their early church experiences…ours was … Read more

The Interim

Saturday Afternoon—February 22—Long Beach It has almost been 7 weeks since the fire. For the world ‘out there’ it is a time of no time. Life has moved forward. This crisis touched hearts and profound actions of generosity and support came forth from behind bushes and from across the sea into mailboxes….. life rafts of … Read more

Tenderness

Long Beach, Tuesday Morning, February 18 Tenderness. Tenderness lives in our hearts and souls, BUT during times of trauma it gets tossed about and often hides out of sight. Our bodies throb with over active adrenaline and our cells forget to calm down and our minds decide NOT time out, no matter what. THIS is … Read more

Long Beach

Monday Afternoon—February 17— Long Beach Long Beach? Yes. A week ago today was my last day in my Mount Washington retreat apres the fire. My friend, my knightess with shining locks and brightness all ‘round…and her generous adventurous husband had bought a gorgeous home in Long Beach and we knew that the timing of the … Read more

Nail Painting

Tuesday, February 11, Mount Washington My sparkling pink and turquoise fingernails are the gift of Goddess Indra. otheriwise known to me as Raindrop Rosebud.  This girl.  Ater snuggling up into me and reading ‘ Knight Owl’ complete with owl and dragon sound effects, (she had memorized every word and turned the pages perfectly as if … Read more

Lisa’s Elephants

Tuesday, February 11, Mount Washington As the world throbs with upset during this time, human beings’ innate natural spirit of caring, connection, generosity and standing together has been front and center in my lap and in my mailbox, in the most creative, delightful, BEAUTIFUL ways. And now, one tale…and an enchanting herd of tails. Lisa’s … Read more

Long Beach

Tuesday, February 11, Mount Washington Five weeks ago this morning I woke up in my Malibu bed, greeting the birds, the trees and the day and having no idea this would be the last in the intimate precious world of my sacred space. This morning I woke to the birds, the trees and the day … Read more

Joy

Friday Evening, January 31—Mount Washington Having heard yesterday that one could now acquire a certificate from Malibu City Hall that would allow one to go up and down Pacific Coast Highway freely, forever, without being questioned or escorted, I headed out this morning. Three hours later, with pass in hand, what to do? Fly! My … Read more

Earth to Me

Thursday, January 30—Marina Del Rey Even though my introduction to the world of CBD gummies was wondrously fun, I have not actually partaken any. They sit there looking at me but they do not call me. Hence my heart-rate has continued to gallop. What to do? Earth to me…MY SEA LIONS. And so here I … Read more

The Year of the Snake

Chinese New Year and the Year of the Snake arrive today. Snakes. Snake medicine, snake mythology, culturally passionately polarizing.  Who really knows a snake? Who really knows anything? NOW, here in LA, we are in a collective dreamspace, in that we are all reverberating from the fire breathing dragon that wiped out our world, our … Read more

CBD Gummies

January 28, Evening, Mount Washington Three weeks ago today, in tandem with the fiire, my historically low blood pressure decided to re-create itself and sky rocket. I have never had high blood pressure, but being bodily aware, have been fascinated that the immediate ‘fight or flight’ hyperness that this mandatory evacuation propelled had stuck me … Read more

Regal Queens

Mount Washington, Monday Morning, January 27 I grew up in South India. As a tiny girl, the ‘custom’ was for American children of missionaries and diplomats to go to boarding school…one in the north and one in the south of the country. As my father’s primary headquarters was in the south, Kodaikanal, in the Palni … Read more

The Temple of Leaves

The Temple Of Leaves Every human choses how to ride the waves of life, how to show up to others, and how connected to be to self. The choices can be conscious…or not. I once read a Clarissa Pinkola Estes piece on women and truth…but I think this applies to all. “Hi. How are you … Read more

Danny

Sunday Evening—Mount Washington A few days ago, a daddy longlegs, with gangly wildly unpredictable dancing legs, catalyzed a flash for me on Danny Kaye in “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” and how my dad gaffawed just at the mention of the character, hence I dubbed this spider, ‘Danny’. Danny, oh Danny, I’m sorry. … Read more

Thank You God

Wednesday Night Riding the wave of surrender and healing is as indiviual as we humans are. Personally, the shock, then the tears, then a verison of grounding which feels solid and then suddenly is not.. I believed that I had NO photos of my nest. My memory is keen, and as my haven has been … Read more

Sleeping Bear

As the fire was coming and there was no time to THINK, I grabbed a few little hats sitting on the table that I had knit as holiday gifts…and I stuffed them with a couple of tiny tchotchkes that I glanced at as I flew by. These little bears…a mother and two babies. As a … Read more

Love Tokens

The fire burned my home. Every treasure from artwork, to books, to my mother’s diary, to photos, to my father’s briefcase, to creations of my daughters when they were little, to EVERYTHING and just now….a birthday present arrived from my friend, Claudia…..it allowed the tears to flow and my self to scream with sorrow. This … Read more

Ronnie

January 5, 2025, Malibu Spontaneous sharing here. On this human trek, I have bid farewell to NUMEROUS crucial comrades…meaning they have died and I have not. My relationships with these beings has continued. My connection to each is real. I have shared this with my grand children as well, so that we can mutually go … Read more

Home!

January 1, 2025, Marina Del Rey Pondering in the wandering, ever transfixed humorously by what appears. I spy, with my hazely eyes, sea birds and sea lions… Oh! Wait a minute! I spy, with my hazely eyes, my dad and my mom! Dad. Long and lean and not a fan of water. In theory yes, … Read more

January 1, 2025

2025! Here we go! And I thank you ALL!!!!! Here, There, and Everywhere, you magic wanded my birthday with warmth and exuberance and phone calls and tete a tetes and f-o-o-d and supreme gold nugget companionship. My heart is luxuriating. As a single mother, decades ago, whenever a ping of ecstacy engulfed me, my daughters … Read more

Happy Birthday to ME!

Happy New Year to you ALL!!!!! Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!! YES, my beginnings and endings happen all at once. In astrology, Capricorns youthen as they age, having lived ‘as old’ in childhood, they lighten up and become childlike as the years pass. In 1991, living in NYC, while attending a Deepak Chopra presentation at the … Read more

End Of Year

We bless this year for all we learned, For all we loved and lost And for the quiet way it brought us Nearer to our invisible destination. We give thanks for the gifts it brought And how they became inlaid within Where neither tide nor time can touch them. Amen.

Words

December 21, 2024—The Solstice—-Malibu One week and one day ago PCH was opened and those evacuated for the Franklin Fire were allowed to return home. Various degrees of trauma having been lived, today’s solstice brings cool, calm, soul knowing in ‘let the darkness come, breathe in its gifts, and then…then…light and living and seeing.’ A … Read more

Being Lost

Beverly HIlls, December 20, 2024 Whilst pumping gas, a woman at the next pump whimpering to her partner, “I’m lost.” Shuttling to a crisis call from Madison Wisconsin a few days ago, the same words, ”I’m lost.” The soul crying out in confusion and malaise. When Gian Carlos Menotti’s opera “The Consu;l” was my soul … Read more

PEACE

Malibu, December 20, 2024 Tomorrow the winter solstice.   A cellular rush,  apres le Franklin Fire, is just now relaxing.  For one who has forever dropped off to sleep with no effort, this week a restlessness has prevented that luxury but is just now releasing its hold, whew, thank goodness.  And this morning? A blanket … Read more

The Franklin Fire

MALIBU, December 10, 2024 Maybe one day in the grass green sky… But not today. Last night,  or was it this morning? Knock Knock Knock on my door and ‘mandatory evacuation’ staring me in the face. Wait a minute. Where are we? What year is this?  I’ve already done this. Hurricane Hugo, thirty-five years ago.  … Read more

Christmas in Tenafly

Tenafly, New Jersey, Mid 1960’s Whilst acclimating to life in America after having lived years in India there was MUCH to get used to. Christmas being a big one. We would wake to my mother’s joyous reunion with her  piano, hence Christmas carols, loud and clear and Dad’s exuberant humming to go with.  My sister … Read more

Becoming Music

Malibu, December 2024 Fog laden, wind wild, light piercing, or roseblushed still. No matter what the world is doing, singing perches outside my window in loyal commitment to rousing and greeting. Is that the commitment?  If so, why continue? “Good morning”, says I.  And the pitch intensifies. We hear but do not listen. “Your singing … Read more

PRALINES AND CREAM

Open your arms and your heart to peace. Breathe in calm. Invite angels or guides or Ganesh or whoever your supporting beings are to allow no obstacles to stand between you and your soul knowing. Let nothing darken your light, your love, your devotion to healing. What is, has been decided eleswhere for eons. Be … Read more