Friday Evening, January 31—Mount Washington
Having heard yesterday that one could now acquire a certificate from Malibu City Hall that would allow one to go up and down Pacific Coast Highway freely, forever, without being questioned or escorted, I headed out this morning.
Three hours later, with pass in hand, what to do? Fly! My car knew where to go and so, without prior planning, we headed for home…and even though my house is not longer, it feels like home.
Right before I turned into my driveway, a neighbor walked out from around a curve in the road…spontaneous happiness in and seeing each other….BUT/AND this friend in the only one on our bluff whose house did not burn, and her sorrow was vicous.
Survivor guilt. As real as loss, but less manageable in ways.
We talked, and then she went inside her house and came out carrying the sweetest amaryllis and she handed her to me.
I have named her JOY, and she will come live with me in my new tiny dwelling next week!
It is in small moments that we sticth together a symbolic life.
JOY.