Saturday Afternoon—February 22—Long Beach
It has almost been 7 weeks since the fire. For the world ‘out there’ it is a time of no time. Life has moved forward. This crisis touched hearts and profound actions of generosity and support came forth from behind bushes and from across the sea into mailboxes….. life rafts of love from friends and strangers.
BUT NOW, as explosive world concerns are front and center for the masses, those of us in the path of the fire are experiencing a new level of deepening sorrow and loss of HOME,
Yesterday, after an appointment in Santa Monica, …I detoured over to my marina before heading down to Long Beach. I sat where I have sat for years, as THIS was my office…with pelicans and shore birds puttering and winging about and sea lions woofing and splashing….this was my place.
Long Beach is Long Beach…different…lovely…and very different.
I sat quietly, feelings that I thought I had ‘dealt with’ bubbling and streaming out all over my face. I opened my car door and slowly stood…breathed in my specifically salty air, felt the comfort of MY WIND and THE QUIET…and I walked.
Then I cried my lungs out. WHERE did that come from? I thought I had faced and finished this.
THE GIFT:
This time of interim….there is a withholding. Where we were before is gone and where we are going is mystery. This is always so, but vibrationally this ‘post trauma time’ is loaded.
The old has not died away…the new new is not ready to be born….the eyes are blurry.
FAITH is necessary.
There will be sunrise….and meanwhile, even while those feelings that are lurking in safe crevices pop up and squeal “I WANT TO GO HOME!!!” we must try to be enamoured with our very own light, stand in its strength and know that all is well.