Four years without a home, is becoming five, too quickly. The days and weeks and months come and go, and there is a weariness that is trying to take over. I keep it at bay, but I have my eye on it, as it is a powerful force, and no matter how strong my spirit and my knowings, I must respect what is, and what my personal needs for a home are.
My trust in God’s timing with my circumstances is true. My faith is real. My husband and I are walking this walk because someone must walk it who will speak about it. All of the cracks and crevices where the soul is tested and where society turns its back. All of the looks of suspicion and distance when others’ fears are triggered. All of the glossed over gestures to ‘help’ when they are in fact hollow bandaids to justify the difference between the haves and have nots. Our country is broken, and our country is made up of people. I believe that most Americans know someone personally, who is clinging to edge of the financial cliff right now, and the fear is overwhelming. We are walking this walk for you, because should you, or someone you know tumble off the cliff, you can look to us as someone who has gone before and not only survived but found gifts in every moment and every face. And we have never lost sight of the dream to climb back out and up.
And now we’re tired and pulling out the stops to shift our circumstances.
New York. Reasons one and two:
1. My husband and I have decided to get divorced in order to free up the energy that bleeds out in taking care of each other. Each of us needs to focus on ‘what is’ with each of our individual might. So I am here, as a gift from my daughter, to assimilate this change and re-group.
2. I lived in New York before I moved to LA and I manifested well here. I arrived on the first full day of spring, with the intention of growing a new garden of possibilities, which I am.
I will fly back to Santa Monica next week. I have no idea what lies ahead but I will return with filled wells. Love lives in my heart and even if I return to New York to manifest what I need to, Santa Monica feels like home to me and one day I will live by the ocean in my own little place with those that I love, furry and otherwise, all around me.
